Daddy’s home: Why I let my ex live with us on weekends

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How can I get more involved? To Don's mild consternation, she cheapens herself by shortening her words in her speech: How often have I beaten him up? Clarke's], where he seeks companionship in his drinking with congenial bartender Nat Howard da Silva. That's what drives you crazy. This means you can still enjoy sensibly portioned meals with your family and friends, either at home or at a restaurant, and still be on track to hit your weight loss goals. I've had my bellyfull

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Free Story Land ticket for each race participant! Food Truck Week Food Trucks are taking over! Join us for a week of delicious food and fun! There were days it took all of my strength to hold back tears watching my children interacting with their father, and remembering the happier days we had as a family. But I had one overriding goal: In the months following those first tense family lunches, the four of us settled into a routine where daddy would stay over on the weekends in the guest room and make pancakes the next day.

During that first summer he and my son pitched a tent in the back yard and spent nearly every weekend night huddled in sleeping bags, watching a movie on a laptop and gorging on junk food. Very slowly, my husband and I became friendly again. Our situation would be comical if not for the underlying heartache, and there have been ironic moments over the years; such as when I was getting ready for a date and my husband found the perfect shoes for my outfit.

Or when the man I am seeing arrived at my house on a recent Friday night at precisely the same time as my husband, leading to an awkward handshake and my teenagers wondering if punches would be thrown.

When later I asked my husband what he thought of my beau, he replied that he was well dressed. From the beginning, some people in my life thought this was an extremely odd arrangement.

This gave me pause, and led to a number of discussions with friends about the kind of message I was sending to my children. Perhaps, in trying to give my children a semblance of a normal family life I was creating a false and confusing world for them.

Perhaps in trying to teach them the power of forgiveness, I was instead sending them the message that what their father did was all right, thus setting them up for relationship issues as adults. I took all of this into consideration, and about two years ago announced that daddy would no longer be staying over, or even hanging out.

We were going to live like other divorced families albeit we are still only legally separated. Thus began a phase where my children would ask if daddy could come over for certain periods of time. It soon became apparent that my children enjoyed having their father around to simply be. One night I sat outside on my deck and watched through the windows as my daughter and her father cooked together, set the table with candles and sat down to dinner.

Observing them through the glass I knew that that simple meal would do more to heal my daughter than any words I could offer. I unthinkingly asked if we knew anyone with a toddler we could give it to, and in the next second the thought of his new daughter flashed across my mind, and I burst into tears.

There are days when I want him out of my house and out of my life for good. I had no control over what my husband did. But he left me. To his credit he never left our children. During the darkest days, when neither my children nor I wanted to speak to him, he still drove five hours, often only to be left standing on the front stoop or turned away.

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